Lauren Conrad's "Big Secret?" - The Hills: Season 3 Isn't Over

Let's start this out by disclosing that I had to read online about this "big secret" revealed earlier this week on what was scheduled to be the season finale's after show of MTV's most watched show The Hills, starring Lauren Conrad, of Laguna Beach fame.

Why did I have to read about it? Because my wretched DVR did this to me:

LC: "Wait, can I say it?"
*Me sitting up and leaning closer to TV*
TV: "Delete recording? Don't Delete Recording"
Me: *Mouth agape*

So my DVR cut off the finale by the last minute that was really the only reason to watch the silly webcam-filled after show. I was a little upset.

Happy Holidays by the way, everyone.

In a move that says "Ha!" to the writer's strike, MTV is prolonging The Hills to "document" Lauren and Whitney's trip to Paris and beyond. With the writer's strike still going on and networks turning to shows like American Idol, American Gladiators, Deal or No Deal, Clash of the Choirs, Celebrity Apprentice, and other reality-based competition/game shows to carry them through what some believe to be the "dark days" of television, this is a pretty genius move by MTV, as I'm pretty sure that The Hills audience wouldn't mind if the show took up its Monday nights year round.

So Lauren finally gets her chance to finally go to Paris after she turned down the opportunity to spend a summer in Malibu with Baller Jason Wahler after her first year in Los Angeles. Clearly, she made it back, so at least we know that nothing catastrophic happens, but it will interesting to see how Lauren and Whitney survive without sushi and Pinkberry while they're in Europe. Apparently, the two will be hanging out with some French rock stars courtesy of the show's publicists who were trying to strike up a romance for two 20-something icons. I was in Paris last summer and was enamored by everything but the high-priced food (I ate delicious French fast food, cold cut sandwiches, and fruit to save money so I could do things I wanted to do), so I'm guessing that we'll be counting the number of times that Lauren says words like "amazing," "incredible," and "beautiful," because that would have been a game in itself for me while I was over there.

From the personal collection

It's funny, but after five years on reality television, the connection that viewers seem to have with Lauren Conrad seems to go beyond that of what viewers have with characters on a scripted television show. While I feel like so much of this can be attributed to the demographic of people who watched Laguna and currently watch The Hills, the reality is that Lauren Conrad has become as important of a character to fans of the show as Michael Scott is to fans of the The Office.

We want to see her do well and we're disappointed in her when she does something that goes against what we'd expect of her, though all we're doing is watching her go about her semi-scripted day to day. So who cares if the New York Post is reporting on the perceived holes in the "reality" of the show? Who cares if Heidi may or may not work at Bolthouse? And who cares if she awkwardly likes to sing catchy songs on the sidewalk in Hollywood?


The reality is that Adam Divello and crew have put together a show that makes its viewers not only care about the characters, but talk about the show on a level that makes it relevant well outside the confines of its 30 minutes weekly block (and 500 replays on MTV). So hate if you want, but The Hills is what so many TV shows dream of being - a brand that matters that people love to talk about. And beyond this extended season? It's coming back for Season 4. Take that, haters.

Keeps it poppin' in the hood.

At a larger level, as a reality TV lover, how do I feel about the programming that's just over the horizon as a result of the writer's strike?

Honestly, I think it'll get old fast (other than Idol, which I cannot wait for). What the strike does do however, is give me the chance to get caught up on countless episodes of Ghost Whisperer and Friday Night Lights that have been taking up space in HD on my DVR for this entire season. What the strike does teach people (and hopefully writers) is that television and everyone else's lives continue to go on, even if it's without the benefit of having the exceptional writers that put together the shows we know and love.

While the strike is costing studios millions, the reality is that we're not watching salt and pepper fights on our HDTVs, nor are we seeing multi-colored lines on our screens just because there's not any new content coming from the Writer's Guild. Sure, the content gets more limited, but there will always be someone, somewhere out there looking for the best ways to get our attention under any circumstance. I think that many writers have a tendency to occasionally overestimate the value of their work in a larger context (myself included!) and I hope that this isn't something that hinders the negotiations that are leading to such an awkward season of television.

For now, bring on Paris!

The Hills: Season 3 Comes Alive with "Forgive and Forget"

The Hills - Season 3, Episode 14

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The Hills came back in a big way on Monday night by focusing on the characters that loyal fans are most interested in, Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag. With the introduction of one of the weirdest characters in beautiful-people, semi-scripted reality world history in Audrina's boyfriend Justin Bobby and the relatively pointless dragging storyline surrounding Lauren and on-again, off-again bff Brody Jenner, Season 3 of MTV's most popular show has ultimately been a disappointment so far. Why? Because we've come to expect more.


This season, episode after episode trudges on, and really, not a whole lot happens. Cliffhangers have been few and far between and the fact that Lauren Conrad is no longer "just a girl," but one of Hollywood's better known faces makes her less of the clearcut protagonist that she was in both preceding seasons of the show. There are moments when we're left thinking, "Hey, maybe she's not right this time around..." It's a fairly simple show and when you lose sight of the "good guys," it makes the storylines less effective, which has really hurt Season 3 in my mind.

Somehow, someway, and thankfully, The Hills brought it back this past Monday night by bringing the show back to its roots - drama, brutally blunt honesty, and profound poetic statements with simple words and matching sentence structures that are just simple enough to appear completely genuine. Instead of focusing on how awkward Audrina is, the funny faces Whitney makes, how not cool Justin Bobby acts around strangers, or how wasted Lauren can get, "Forgive and Forget" focused on the relationship between former roommates turned arch-nemeses Lauren and Heidi.

Season 3 started off with a bang that was really satisfying to watch. MTV didn't try and dodge the Lauren Conrad sex tape rumors that were circulating before the new season aired, nor did the network pretend that its audience wasn't hip to one of the juiciest gossip stories around Hollywood. In a move that not only gave credit to its audience, but provided fuel for what has otherwise been a relatively uneventful season, MTV tackled the story head on in the season premiere. After hearing that Heidi, along with her boyfriend Spencer were behind the sex tape rumors surrounding Lauren Conrad and now-Celebrity Rap Superstar emcee Jason Wahler ("I'm a baaalllerrrrr, JASON Waaaaaaaahlerrrr!!!"), Lauren screamed out against Heidi in a rage that had gone unseen through two seasons of The Hills and another two seasons of Laguna Beach, "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!!" in a television moment that will never be forgotten by fans of the show. Season 3 was alive and well...for a minute.

After starting at the highest of highs, Season 3 was fizzling by the episode. After yet another uneventful episode where we watched Lauren and Whitney take people to their seats at the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood party, MTV chose the best possible moment to bring the drama that is Lauren and Heidi back to the small screen. And in the best five minutes that the show has seen all season long, The Hills returned to its truest form, a triumphant return to brutal dialogue and reactions shots that is most effectively told through quotations from the show's main character Lauren Conrad during these five glorious minutes.

Blunt honesty: "You're lying to me."

Simple words, complex phrases: "Don't look at me and tell me that you don't know, because you know."

Confusing, yet profound and thoughtful life philosophies: "I think you know that Spencer did this and I think you don't want to believe it because you love him and I understand that. Because sometimes, when you love someone, you want to believe they're good."

Things that make you go "hmm...": "Heidi, sometimes whether you did something or did nothing, it's just as bad."

Questions that cannot be answered: "How can you hate someone so much that you literally want to make them wish they were dead?"

With yet another fitting song by Los Angeles singer/songwriter Alissa Moreno acting as the background music to one of the season's darkest, yet brightest moments, Lauren unleashed the second best line of the season:

"The only thing really that there is to do is to forgive and forget. So I really do, I want to forgive you.... And I want to forget you."

Boo-yaka-sha.

Say what you will about The Hills - the fact that it's more than semi-scripted and doesn't really contribute a whole lot to society apart from showing people my age some cool places to eat and go on dates - but when The Hills is good, it's really good. The looks of death that Conrad burned through Montag's skull go beyond anything that has ever been seen on The OC, Dawson's Creek, or even Grey's Anatomy, because the anger is genuine. Gossip Girl, while it reigns as television's newest guilty pleasure on the CW, would kill to create one second of the tension that The Hills managed to create on Monday night because of how surprisingly well the characters have been developed through two short seasons of 30 minute episodes.

For a brief glimpse, The Hills was back and it was glorious.