Monday, December 10, 2007


For those of you who are in daily contact with me, you know that this hasn't been the easiest weekend in my real, non-blogging life.

While I won't say that this is the most difficult time in my life, nor the toughest thing that I've ever had to deal with, if there has ever been something that's been able to really take me off my game, it's this. This is actually the least productive weekend that I've had in probably over two years, but at least I made it to work for a few hours on Sunday night as I'll be taking the day off on Monday to try and regain some sanity. I'll probably end up at the driving range and the beach, pretty much trying to do whatever it takes to clear my mind.

However, as all this was going down, I happened to take a seat in my disgusting new bathroom (absolutely hate it, the worst part about our new apartment) on my crappy porcelain throne and a towel that I stole from the Heart of Gold hostel in Berlin, Germany was hung up backwards on my shower door. And I was thinking, not really searching for answers, but very much open to any, when I saw that the word "Gold" backwards spelled out "Blog" with the font that was used on the design.

In a weird, fortune cookie way, this had been on my mind all weekend and while I don't really want to blog about my personal life, I thought that it might be the best way to bring me back to some form of normalcy. So here I am, pushing 2:00 in the morning, searching for sanity.

Now that we're past that, let's talk about a Hollywood phenomenon.

Nicole Richie: Dad is an R&B legend. Dating Joel Madden of crappy band Good Charlotte. Former bff of fellow celebutante Paris Hilton. Co-star of reality TV show.

Taking Hollywood by storm lately is a relatively recent phenomenon known as "celebutantes." Not familiar with the term? Our good friends over at defined it as such:

"A person of high society and wealth whose [sic] famous just for the fact of being rich and fabulous. A socialite who is 'famous for being famous.'"

Brody Jenner: Dad was an Olympic speed skater. Stepmom is fellow celebutant Kim Kardashian's mother. Brody himself dated reality TV near-celebutante Lauren Conrad and he is a supporting star on two separate reality shows.

These hybrid debutante/celebrity types pretty much spend their days partying and being out and about at the hottest of hot spots in Los Angeles. People can pretend that celebutantes spend their days in Manhattan, but it's in L.A. that these pseudo-celebs really make a name for themselves at spots like Hyde, Area, Roosevelt Hotel, and TMZ-hot spot Les Deux, which has the most famous and violent parking lot in the whole world. Celebutantes are rich, fabulous, famous, and they get to hang out with celebrities, not necessarily because they're very talented, but more because their families are wealthy and they're good looking. However, I'm not one of these people who hate celebutantes, as I actually feel like they are constantly working for their publicity to the point that it's actually a pretty fascinating look at PR to see how they manage to stay in the spotlight.

While some people will say that "these people are so stupid!" These "stupid people" are still managing to make thousands and thousands of dollars from just appearing at places and they're getting comped to "live the life," while the haters are picking up someone else's phone or waiting for someone to quit his/her job so they can get that lavish "assistant manager" title and the 5% raise that comes with it. Oooh. Celebutantes hustle. And they hustle hard. Because if they don't, they start to become regular people. And that's exactly what they cannot become.

Paris Hilton: Hotel heiress, former bff of fellow celebutante Nicole Richie, sex tape superstar, reality TV show star.
(You have no idea how hard it is to find a picture of her that won't get me kicked off Blogger)

What I liken the life of a celebutante to is that it is like living The Real World as your real life. Obviously, without the studio funding, it is up to you, as the "actor" in your one man reality show to find a "house," new people to hang out with, and interesting things to do so that people will watch you. You don't have the benefit of a TV show, nor a makeup crew, so you have to look your best and you absolutely have to make the best use of the paparazzi, sex tapes, and rumor mills to make sure that you make your reality show a top reality show.

Kim Kardashian found her second family on the celebutante scene

On the season finale of my new favorite reality show Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the lovely Kim Kardashian (sex tape star, daughter of one of O.J. Simpson's lawyers, reality TV star, celebrity dater, turned Playboy model and DUB spokesperson) had a crisis that involved her sister Kourtney. While the show was filled with drama, I was just really interested to see that Kim has her own dedicated publicist.

The hottie Kardashian isn't really an actress, nor does she make that many public statements outside of gossip magazines that the common man reads about, but she has become important enough to have her own publicist who looks out for her and the stories being written about her. Aside from the fact that she is one of the hottest women walking the face of the planet right now, Kardashian is no doubt treated with the same kind of respect that some of Hollywood's biggest names are when it comes to being out on "the scene" of Young Hollywood and something about that is truly amazing.

No need to sing, dance, or act, but you just need to dress well, look good, have contacts, and play the part. But while it all seems like fun and games, these pseudo-celebs have to be out and about all the time. Whether it's a simple trip to Pinkberry or the latest club, once the cameras stop caring, they stop mattering in the eyes of the paparazzi public. While yes, the money that funds these faces is a little unbelievable to me, I know that there are definitely days and nights when I just don't really feel like doing anything. However, for these people whose "job" it is to be in the public eye, they don't really have a choice. And I wonder if it gets to the point where they become obsessed with fame, or if they still are able to enjoy the simplicities of having a regular day.

What is most fascinating to me about the celebutante culture is its future. Whether we like to admit it or not, one of the things that is most interesting about celebrities is the cycle of celebrity that they go through. Celebrities rise to the top (Mike Tyson, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson, Michael Vick) only to hit rock bottom (Mike Tyson, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson, Michael Vick) and we watch to see how they manage to reinvent themselves in order to find their way back on top.

Some of them make it only to fall again (Tyson), while others seem to struggle to find the identity that once made them who they became (Jackson, Lohan), and others face an incredibly uncertain future (Vick), which could lead to the greatest story of all (imagine if Vick comes back to the NFL and is incredible?). Since we're riding this upswing of celebutante culture, I'm wondering if "real Hollywood" will strike back and take back what is theirs, leaving these "rich kids" to fend for themselves and try and do something that would justify their position on "the scene," beyond cash flow.

Are the names that fill gossip magazines today for seemingly no reason at all just a flash in the pan? Or will they disappear, only to emerge as Hollywood's next big thing? How long will partying and taking drunken pictures while looking hot be reason enough for people to take notice of peoples' actions? Will anyone know who these people are in ten years? Let alone five?

For now, we're in the age of the celebutante and I think we're just starting to get tired of them. Who knows how these attention whores will reinvent themselves, but I can't wait to find out.


John said...

Hey... reading through your latest, it occurs to me that i probably called you at a bad time the other day. my bad.. it's just i heard some music that reminded me of the sh-t we used to bump.

I really feel bad for Mike Vick.

Anonymous said...

Found a video of The Hills Stars and Brody, party with Playboy. check this video out
The Hills Stars.